Burying yourself in work when you are suffering is terrible advice!

I know, I speak from experience. I found that in my past my only way to survive was to bury all feeling and emotion and turn on the autopilot function. Get up, parent, work, parent some more, feign interest in others, sleep, rinse and repeat. I worked hard, I accomplished a lot and you would never have guessed I was suffering. In fact, those who met me then and then learned of my story as it all unraveled gasped at the truths.

Unfortunately, I knew no other way.

We cannot cherry pick the emotions we like and want to have like fruit from a tree. It is an all or none kinda deal. You cannot enjoy happiness and excitement if you don’t also know loss and grief. Sure we all know the idea of it not being about things that happen but how we react to them, but you can’t feel just some of the rainbow of emotions. Anyone who walks around and says they refuse pain and sadness and lives in bliss is a liar.

So, because I could not deal with the immense pain and guilt, the bouts of extreme sadness and grief, I buried them all. I plowed into work, I used it as an excuse to not have time to deal. I succeeded where I could be in control which was not bad, however, it was not right for me either.

What happens when you bury your feelings is that they do not die. They live just under the surface and come bubbling up, usually at the most inopportune times and also when we do not expect it. Getting sidelined in the feels department can take…