Fuck obligation, no human is another’s.

As a child coming into this world, you have no choice in the matter. Not who to be born to, or where, or what life has in store for your future. Your parents chose to have you, whether planned or unplanned, they made an active decision to create and keep your life. Their choice leaves them with the responsibility and any obligation firmly in their hands, not the other way around.

You do not owe your parents anything. I am not saying this with malice or contempt, but simply through my experience with my son.

As a mother, I chose to have my son. I actively decided that his life would happen. My obligation and responsibility to him, and of him, and for him is endless. He owes me nothing in return for bringing him into this world or bringing him up in it for he had no say in the decision to create him.

We owe nothing simply because we were created from their loins.

He owes me nothing because he came from mine.

I do not want a compliant child that cannot learn and understand. I want a child that asks questions, that can accept others as they are, but also pushes himself and others just beyond their limits of activation and growth.

I do not want a relationship of obligation. I grimace at the idea he would ever feel it necessary to communicate with me based only on the idea that it is what is expected of him. My heart beats to hear him say I want to, I chose to, it is important to me too.