“Put me in the game, coach”

I am terrified to actually admit this, because then I have to do it, and for even more pressure to follow through, I decided to write about it. What do I need to say out loud?! Well, to be direct I am un-benching myself.

So, after I gave love a go last year and wound up terribly disappointed, again, I decided I should maybe take some time and give my heart a little break. The dates were shit anyway and personally, I would rather stay home than be with the wrong someone, blame it on my Virgo. So I did. I still attended the game, I have a hopeless love for love, but I benched myself from getting in the action.

And then, I began to feel like I may be ready for something, but I fell (actually literally fell, blame that on bourbon) into a situation that resembled some of my previous habits. Not in a bad way necessarily, just not the type of thing that I am deserving of. Too much detail here will reveal innocent parties, so that is all about that. Discretion, discretion, discretion.

Totally my fault, but the good news is that I recognized this and then with equal ferocity, did something about it. The better news is that I decided that although that situation was not for me right now, that I actually allowed myself to feel something… hello… feels… me, what the shit is going on?! Right! So because of this good and better news, realizing what I want and…