To my son, on your eighteenth Birthday.

Wow! Eighteen, my how the days sometimes feel long but those years just flew by so quickly.

My sweet Joseph, I don’t really know where to begin. As I sit here five days before your day of birth and reflect back to that time, I feel more connected to you again. I remember being so excited to see your face, and so tired of being pregnant with your 9 pound 6 ounce booty, I was begging you to make your worldly entrance. You would wiggle around reminding me that this was your show, I was on your time.

The moment my water broke I woke up startled but then the greatest peace fell over me. I knew you were coming and my life would never be the same. When they laid you in my arms fifteen hours, to the minute, later, my heart bursting, all I could think was “Thank you God for trusting me to be his mama.” I sobbed and smiled, sobbed some more, and couldn’t take my eyes away from you. I say that prayer every day still. Through tough times and hardship, on days that I wanted it all to be over, you were my why, my sunshine, that heart of mine beating outside of my body that kept me going.

I cannot say that I was always the best mom, trying to grow up myself and being in some of the hardest days of my life I honestly can only say I did “good enough” sometimes, but we persisted. Every day we kept going, often your love and mine for you…